You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
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