my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize