Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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