I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
