If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
