There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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