woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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