So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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