i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
