Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
