ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
