3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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