I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
