I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Found the puke drawer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
