I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
