This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
