yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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