she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
