I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
