I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
