and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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