I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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