But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
