What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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