apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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