He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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