But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
