i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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