i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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