He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was like eating out sand paper
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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