There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
