Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
