But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
