so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
