be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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