I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize