idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
