Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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