Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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