Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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