Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I accidentally burped into my bong.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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