I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
