Buhtt sex?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize