But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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