I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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