I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I will be naked everywhere
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
