Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
