i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
