How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
