Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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