My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize