omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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