WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
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Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
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The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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