I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
