is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
