i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
