I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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