Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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