the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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