I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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